10/30/2022 0 Comments Being In Service![]() Today, Nate explores how to get busy being in service. “When we're ready to contribute to the world, we're ready to be in service,” he says. “This is a fulfilling and energizing place to live in.” There are two components to service: selflessness and willingness. In order to be in service, we have to be in a place of unconditional love for both others and ourselves. He talks about Paramahansa Yogananda, whose practices Nate himself has adopted. Icons like the Yogi, as well as Mother Teresa and Gandhi, share characteristics of selflessness: they have no ego, want nothing in return, give from a place of completeness, and are completely connected to their spirituality. While he still gets caught up in day-to-day distractions, Nate has found he is moving in the right direction. Something he finds useful is exploring our motivations when we are in service to others. One of the teachings of self-help author Cheri Huber is to get out of the ‘dark room’ of self-reproach, and learn the conditioning of the ego that is stuck in survival mentality. Her teachings mention Sangha, a Sanskrit word meaning association, assembly, company, or community. “Willingness is really about giving ourselves the grace to believe that we deserve to live the life that we want to live,” Nate says. Huber’s book explains that one thought process doesn’t lead to a different outcome. For example, working hard may earn you money, but it doesn’t always earn you happiness. Instead, we should focus on what will make us happy now–which is often service. In closing, Nate challenges listeners, and himself, to release from your ego trappings and allow yourself to live authentically, and return to love, support, and service. Key Topics:
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Welcome to Cold Water, Hot Coffee. Disciplines for starting your day with clarity and purpose. I’m Nate Scharff, I’m your host. THIS… is episode six. Our topic title is: Service Let’s get started In our last episode, episode five, we explored RESISTANCE, and ways we can move past resistance Today in episode six, we are going to learn how to get busy being in service. When we’ve become clear on our mission, and let go of old mental patterns that cause resistance, we are ready to contribute to the world. This is a fulfilling and energizing place to live. We are no longer focused on our SELF. Self gratification, self adornment, self recognition, self advancement, all of these trappings of the ego have faded away. We simply want to love and support others, and use our bodies and minds for the betterment of the world. We want nothing in return. There are two components of service I want to explore. The first is SELFLESSNESS. The second is WILLINGNESS 1. SELFLESSNESS: How do we get to this selfless place? And what’s in it for us? I say this somewhat jokingly. The truth is, in order to be in service, we first have to get to a place of unconditional love, both for ourselves and others. We have to be free of our EGO, and its desire to keep us distracted and afraid. Often our service is tied to a GIVE and GET reward system. If I GIVE my time, my money, my talents. I will GET something in return. I will feel better about myself. I will be seen as a good person. I will absolve any recent bad behavior with my goodness and return to being carbon neutral on my GOOD BAD imprint on the world. EXAMPLE: Awake Documentary of Paramahansa Yogananda. Paramahansa Yogananda,credited as the first Indian Hindu monk, to live permanently in America, introducing millions to the teachings of meditation and Kriya Yoga through his organization Self-Realization Fellowship. Two years after my divorce in 2010, I moved from Rancho Bernardo California to an oceanfront condo in Encinitas, California. Encinitas was an epicenter of all things wellness. Yoga centers, vegan restaurants, tri-athletes and eastern spirituality abounded. Directly south of my condo complex, Sandpiper Point, was Yogananda's hermitage, gardens and retreat center - the Encinitas “Self Realization Fellowship” temple with the world class surf break below its bluffs, - “Swamis”. I began attending Sunday services at the temple that was three blocks from my house. I knew nothing about Hinduism or Kriya Yoga. A year later, I am a subscriber to the “lessons”, and meditating for hours a day. In the summer of 2012, I spend a week at the SRF ashram in hidden valley. My lifelong practice of meditation had begun. If you want to learn more about this amazing Yogi, check out the documentary “Awake”. You can also read his famous book “Autobiography of a Yogi”. Apple co-founder Steve Jobs was a devotee and a copy of Paramahansa’s book was handed out to every attendee of Steve Job’s memorial service. The last three years of Yogananda’s lifemiraco were spent in complete surrender to service. By 1950, he was overseeing 82 centers and churches stretching all the way to the Gold Coast of Africa, as reported by San Diego Magazine in 1951. The monk would work for 16 - 18 hours a day at his desk, dictating his autobiography. Every time I watch this documentary, I am humbled by his example of service. Paramahansa Yoganada died at age 59, dying from a heart attack at the Biltmore Hotel in Los Angeles while giving a speech. He had told some of his disciples that day that he would be leaving his body soon. TRUE selfless service, giving himself entirely to his church. The things I see in the saintly and good people like Mother Teresa, Gandhi and the many other icons of selfless service. NO EGO NOTHING IN RETURN GIVE FROM COMPLETENESS CONNECTED TO SPIRIT, INSTRUMENT OF GOD “This is the true life….. I am not at that level of selfless service. I still get caught up in the day to day distractions of clinging to a job and a mortgage and parenting. But, I am moving in the right direction. 2. WILLINGNESS I mentioned self help author Cheri Huber before. Another wonderful book of hers is What You Practice Is What You Have. A Guide To Having The Life You Want. She opens this book with a quote on service from author Bernard Shaw: One of Cheri’s key teachings in this book is to get out of what she calls the “dark room” of self reproach”, and learn how to break the conditioning of the ego that wants to keep us stuck in suffering in a survival mentality. Cheri’s zen philosophies teach us how to see that our life is a direct record of the beliefs we practice and tell ourselves. Most often, these beliefs are self-hating and mired in judgment, criticism and comparison. “I will no longer allow my attention to be directed toward a perception of myself as …. 3. SERVICE EXAMPLE. For this episode, I am turning to someone I look up to as an exemplar of selflessness and service. My beloved life partner, Marium Al Aboudi. Marium grew up in Baghdad, the product of an Irish American mother and an Southern Iraq father. At age 16, Marium moved to America to escape the dictatorship of Saddam Hussein. She flew to ?? with her mother and was able to safely make her way to America, along with her seven other brothers who had already escaped. Marium is as strong as they come. She gave birth to three sons, all naturally. She raised those three sons on her own, without support from their fathers. As a new immigrant in the U.S., .iving in a trailer park during the Iran Contra Crisis, she would walk her younger brother to school, their feet wrapped in newspaper and cellophane to walk to the bus in Michigan, where she attended U of M on a scholarship. Her 40 year career as a speech therapist and stroke and brain trauma recovery has helped thousands recover from brain injuries. She has brought people out of comas. She has…. I have listened from my office as she patiently coaches clients to regain their speech. These people are at their most vulnerable. Grown adults, literally learning from scratch how to speak again. It is time consuming work. One of my favorite quotes from Marium is: “When you carry someone else, you get stronger”. That’s a wrap for this episode. Thanks for joining me in our exploration of SERVICE, and how we can spend more time doing it with joy. For more about this podcast go to cold waterhotcoffee.com. If you want to learn more about me, click ABOUT on our website menu. We are here to help you reclaim your teenage fire. You are not done yet with life. Let's fill the tank. Let’s get you back on the road. Thanks for joining me for episode four of Cold Water Hot Coffee. Cold Water, Hot Coffee wants you to reclaim your youthful fire. Dude, you are not DONE yet, Let’s fill the tank and get back on the road. Come with me. Thanks for joining me for Cold Water, Hot Coffee.
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